How to Announce your Second Engagement?
Announcing your second engagement should be an exciting time. You may feel
nervous particularly if you and your partner are a couple with divorce
parents or a couple with children from a previous marriage, but not to
worry, because there are certain protocol’s that you can follow and
make life less stressful.
- Protocol suggests that
the custodial parent or the parent that the bride is closes too while
growing up should be told first told about your second engagement, and then
you move on to the non-custodial parent. If both parents share custody
then the decision on whom to tell first is up to you. In the
traditional wedding protocol is to tell the mother first.
fashion tradition suggests that the groom asks for the bride’s hand in
marriage. As of today, if the bride's parents are divorced it is OK to
ask permission to marry his beloved. You can still ask the father,
and/or the mother who helped raise your partner, and even the
step-parent's whom they may consider as their real dad or mom.
- Next to tell of your second engagement would be the groom's parents. If the parents are divorced, then the
parent with whom they spend most of their childhood with hears the
news first. If the bride thinks that it is old fashioned or if the family
does not approve of the groom, then the idea should be dropped.
the parents have been told it is a traditional courtesy for the groom's
father to make a welcoming call of congratulations to the bride's
- If the groom's parents are divorced, then the parent with whom the future bridegroom grew up does the honors.
- If the bride's parents are divorce it is the father of the groom that calls both of your partner's parents.
is also acceptable and a social nicety if the bride's mother calls the
groom's mother to share in her excitement about the wedding as well.
in line to announce your second engagement is then the groom's grandparents,
then the bride's extended family, then the groom's extended family and
then both your friends.
- As you are talking about your
future wedding plans remember to ask them for their support. Also,
allow your relatives the opportunity to express their feelings, and
concerns. You may want to help re-assure them that your children will
always be first, that financial issues will be taken care of, and that
you are in love and happy with your companion that you will marry.
Tips on Announcing Your Second Engagement to Small Children
- The next person you would tell is your ex-spouse and your children during the course of telling your family and friends. By
telling them you are being thoughtful about their feelings, even if
your relationship is amicable or not, it shows them some consideration
and good ex-etiquette .
- It is a courteous gesture and shows respect as a parent of your
children. This is particularly a good idea especially if the children
are expected to participate or attend the ceremony.
- You may
want to enlist your ex-spouse's cooperation in telling your children,
and they will be helpful to you with dealing with questions from them.
The questions from the kids will also be dealt with consistently by
- When you are dealing with small children it is
essential you tell your ex-spouse even if it's a letter or even a call
so that it will show that you want to continue to put the children
first. If you are doing the second engagement announcement via phone or letter it need
not be so formal. Your goal is to notify your ex of your impending
- This will help make your children’s life less
stressful as possible. It is important that you have the support of
your ex-spouse to help children adjust to the idea that their mom or
dad will be marrying again. The best etiquette practice if you
share children is to announce your second engagement to your ex-spouse before
you tell your small children. It is your responsibility to do so, to avoid any future embarrassment or conflicts in the future.
- When you are co-parenting together, both homes are important
and when something significant happens at either home, it is vital that
the parents share that information particularly for your child's sake.
- Do not use your children
to make announcements of the engagement. Show mutual respect, and when
you decide to remarry they can support your decision to marry rather
than undermine it.
- Give children some time to adjust, if you
announce your second engagement, for example in a short period of time the
children may still feel sad about the divorce, and may develop fears
and concerns about your impending marriage.
- By giving them
time to heal you will show your child love and respect of their
feelings. In the meantime, you can help your child develop a great
relationship with your future spouse. Once that is accomplished then
you can make your announcement.
- If at all possible, it would be helpful to introduce your new
spouse to your ex-spouse to prevent future uncomfortable situations from
developing. Remember, they will both need to work together in
creating a harmonious environment for the children that you all share.
- Although they may both feel awkward at first, in the long run
all involved will benefit. It's possible that they may even come to
develop a friendly relationship; again this would definitely benefit
your little ones.
- When you tell your children about your
engagement try to explain everything thoroughly, and use age appropriate
language so that they can understand. Explaining things and listening
to what they say will help ease any fear or confusion that they may
- Proper communication will ensure that your child feels
loved and secure and if you have communicated correctly they will feel
happy about your remarriage as well.
Tips on Announcing Your Second Engagement to Adult Children
- The same care that is taken to announce a second engagement to younger
children should also be taken in consideration when telling adult
children of your future wedding plans. Since they are adults, you do
expect them to be reasonable, but remember they are your children and
they too may have their own worries and concerns.
should realize that your adult children have spent more time with their
deceased or divorced parent, and have formed a long lasting bond and
memories that they cherish and hold dear to their hearts. So when a
divorced or widowed parent begins to date, they may feel a sense of
betrayal of the other parent. They may go as far as feeling guilty,
especially if they like your choice for a future spouse. That in itself
may cause hesitation on their part in developing a relationship with
your new partner.
- Adult children are also aware of the issues that concern inheritance or financial assets
belonging to their parent. It is known, if no previous prevision or prenuptial agreement is put into place before that parent dies, all the
property, family heirlooms and financial assets will be transferred to
the current spouse.
- So make sure that a Prenuptial Agreement
trust or will is made so that your wishes are known, and that the
surviving family is well taken care of, preventing any future
- As a divorcee or widower you may feel that you
don't have the luxury of time to have a long courtship and want to move
on with your life, but remember your adult children may still be in
mourning and resent your new relationship. Your announcement of your
engagement may be a shock to your children, and they are no way ready
for to see you move on.
- Listen to what your children
have to say and re assure them that your new spouse is not replacing
their mom or dad. You will not devalue their memory, but rather fulfill
your life by having a companion for the remainder of your life.
- Communicaton is key.
Express how you feel about your new partner, how they make you happy,
how you share things in common, and most importantly that you are
grateful for a second chance of finding someone to love again.
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