How to Announce your Second Engagement?

Announcing your second engagement should be an exciting time. You may feel nervous particularly if you and your partner are a couple with divorce parents or a couple with children from a previous marriage, but not to worry, because there are certain protocol’s that you can follow and make life less stressful.

  • Protocol suggests that the custodial parent or the parent that the bride is closes too while growing up should be told first told about your second engagement, and then you move on to the non-custodial parent. If both parents share custody then the decision on whom to tell first is up to you. In the traditional wedding protocol is to tell the mother first.
  • Old fashion tradition suggests that the groom asks for the bride’s hand in marriage. As of today, if the bride's parents are divorced it is OK to ask permission to marry his beloved. You can still ask the father, and/or the mother who helped raise your partner, and even the step-parent's whom they may consider as their real dad or mom.

  • Next to tell of your second engagement would be the groom's parents. If the parents are divorced, then the parent with whom they spend most of their childhood with hears the news first. If the bride thinks that it is old fashioned or if the family does not approve of the groom, then the idea should be dropped.
  • After the parents have been told it is a traditional courtesy for the groom's father to make a welcoming call of congratulations to the bride's parents.
  • If the groom's parents are divorced, then the parent with whom the future bridegroom grew up does the honors.
  • If the bride's parents are divorce it is the father of the groom that calls both of your partner's parents.
  • It is also acceptable and a social nicety if the bride's mother calls the groom's mother to share in her excitement about the wedding as well.
  • Next in line to announce your second engagement is then the groom's grandparents, then the bride's extended family, then the groom's extended family and then both your friends.
  • As you are talking about your future wedding plans remember to ask them for their support. Also, allow your relatives the opportunity to express their feelings, and concerns. You may want to help re-assure them that your children will always be first, that financial issues will be taken care of, and that you are in love and happy with your companion that you will marry.

Tips on Announcing Your Second Engagement to Small Children

  • The next person you would tell is your ex-spouse and your children during the course of telling your family and friends. By telling them you are being thoughtful about their feelings, even if your relationship is amicable or not, it shows them some consideration and good ex-etiquette .
  • It is a courteous gesture and shows respect as a parent of your children. This is particularly a good idea especially if the children are expected to participate or attend the ceremony.
  • You may want to enlist your ex-spouse's cooperation in telling your children, and they will be helpful to you with dealing with questions from them. The questions from the kids will also be dealt with consistently by both parents.

  • When you are dealing with small children it is essential you tell your ex-spouse even if it's a letter or even a call so that it will show that you want to continue to put the children first. If you are doing the second engagement announcement via phone or letter it need not be so formal. Your goal is to notify your ex of your impending marriage.
  • This will help make your children’s life less stressful as possible. It is important that you have the support of your ex-spouse to help children adjust to the idea that their mom or dad will be marrying again. The best etiquette practice if you share children is to announce your second engagement to your ex-spouse before you tell your small children. It is your responsibility to do so, to avoid any future embarrassment or conflicts in the future.
  • When you are co-parenting together, both homes are important and when something significant happens at either home, it is vital that the parents share that information particularly for your child's sake.
  • Do not use your children to make announcements of the engagement. Show mutual respect, and when you decide to remarry they can support your decision to marry rather than undermine it.
  • Give children some time to adjust, if you announce your second engagement, for example in a short period of time the children may still feel sad about the divorce, and may develop fears and concerns about your impending marriage.
  • By giving them time to heal you will show your child love and respect of their feelings. In the meantime, you can help your child develop a great relationship with your future spouse. Once that is accomplished then you can make your announcement.
  • If at all possible, it would be helpful to introduce your new spouse to your ex-spouse to prevent future uncomfortable situations from developing. Remember, they will both need to work together in creating a harmonious environment for the children that you all share.
  • Although they may both feel awkward at first, in the long run all involved will benefit. It's possible that they may even come to develop a friendly relationship; again this would definitely benefit your little ones.
  • When you tell your children about your engagement try to explain everything thoroughly, and use age appropriate language so that they can understand. Explaining things and listening to what they say will help ease any fear or confusion that they may have.
  • Proper communication will ensure that your child feels loved and secure and if you have communicated correctly they will feel happy about your remarriage as well.

Tips on Announcing Your Second Engagement to Adult Children

  • The same care that is taken to announce a second engagement to younger children should also be taken in consideration when telling adult children of your future wedding plans. Since they are adults, you do expect them to be reasonable, but remember they are your children and they too may have their own worries and concerns.
  • You should realize that your adult children have spent more time with their deceased or divorced parent, and have formed a long lasting bond and memories that they cherish and hold dear to their hearts. So when a divorced or widowed parent begins to date, they may feel a sense of betrayal of the other parent. They may go as far as feeling guilty, especially if they like your choice for a future spouse. That in itself may cause hesitation on their part in developing a relationship with your new partner.
  • Adult children are also aware of the issues that concern inheritance or financial assets belonging to their parent. It is known, if no previous prevision or prenuptial agreement is put into place before that parent dies, all the property, family heirlooms and financial assets will be transferred to the current spouse.
  • So make sure that a Prenuptial Agreement trust or will is made so that your wishes are known, and that the surviving family is well taken care of, preventing any future conflicts.
  • As a divorcee or widower you may feel that you don't have the luxury of time to have a long courtship and want to move on with your life, but remember your adult children may still be in mourning and resent your new relationship. Your announcement of your engagement may be a shock to your children, and they are no way ready for to see you move on.
  • Listen to what your children have to say and re assure them that your new spouse is not replacing their mom or dad. You will not devalue their memory, but rather fulfill your life by having a companion for the remainder of your life.
  • Communicaton is key. Express how you feel about your new partner, how they make you happy, how you share things in common, and most importantly that you are grateful for a second chance of finding someone to love again.

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