So are you in a rebound relationship? Well, perhaps you are. You've loved, you've lost, you were broken hearted, you think you’re healed, and you’re considering dating again, but are you ready? You want to avoid the rebound, but it is rather difficult at times. You wonder “have I given myself enough time to recover from my break up, and how much is enough time to prevent me from getting into a rebound relationship?”
Well, for many the recovery period can vary. It can be 6 months to a year, or even longer particularly, for those that have undergone a very dramatic experience in their lives, such as divorce, a loss of a spouse, breakup, etc. It all depends on your own individual experience and your commitment towards recovery and healing.
Be assured that when you are ready to move on, your heart and mind will absolutely let you know, without a doubt!
But to get there you must be able to face the major challenge that follows after a divorce or an end of a relationship, and that is to be able to free yourself from the emotional entanglement that may still live within you. These emotions can prevent you from being in a healthy future relationship.
After a love lost, you may feel miserable and have the need to be with someone, to fill the emptiness and loneliness that you are experiencing. If you move too quickly from this past relationship soon into another new relationship to fill the void, then you are going to be in a "rebound relationship.”
The proven method on how to deal with this type of relationship is just to be alone for a while, as long as it takes, until you've gotten rid of your ex-partner from your heart completely.
You need to make slow progress toward,
It is important that you allow yourself to experience the full extent of your emotional pain of your recent break up or loss. If you get involve too soon it will be a misguided attempt to move on with your life, and you may possibly end up hurting someone else in your rebound relationship.
Perhaps, you may want to have a quick fix to help you drown out your pain by allowing yourself to escape in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love, but this new relationship will be short lived.
It is also not unusual for someone that has emerged from a battered divorce to swear they will never marry again for a long time, only to find themselves marrying again in a short time, to someone who primarily reminds them of their former partner or spouse. You can either choose someone that is quite similar or someone who is the opposite extreme. Either situation can be a serious problem.
Unresolved feelings about a former partner or marriage can influence your judgment in many ways, such as:
are misguided reasons, and as it turns out you may once again end up
in a rebound relationship or remarriage with the very same or
even a worst person than you once was formerly married or involved with.
Sometimes the past becomes idealized and you forget how bad things were before. You can’t go back, but you still want to come as close as possible to finding a similar situation.
It is best to refrain from committing to a new relationship if,
It is best to refrain from getting involved in a new relationship, that will only lead to a rebound relationship and evidently hurt you and the other person that is involved.
Chances are that you have not yet freed yourself enough from the past to make a new relationship or remarriage work.
Consider working out the insight about your past relationship by testing yourself in other new relationships through dating again, This can be helpful in truly feeling free of the past.
Comparison and contrast both help in giving you some perspective and
vision to what you really want, It can help you discover new things about
yourself, and identify those qualities in another, that compliment you and can make you feel happy within that relationship.
Give yourself a chance to explore other options, do activities you like, and meet other people, to help you work out your feelings and get some prospective in your life again.
I know from my own experience that it was best just to be alone, and I found the time to do many things that I enjoyed, as well as, spending time with friends or family. It took me a complete year before I was healed enough to even per-sue another relationship, but I tell you, after that time, I did not hurt, I did not care one way or another for my previous partner. I was indifferent, yet I was filled with hope and life again.
I then began to date again, and new that I was ready to love again. I am presently involved with a man that compliments who I am, that I can be myself with, and accepts and loves me with all his heart. So there is hope and happiness that awaits you as well. You just got to give yourself time to heal, and yes "time does heal wounds."
Giving yourself time to question the basis of your previous relationship or marriage, the problems you encountered in it, and try to examine the pattern of your new involvement from another very important angle, and ask yourself “is there something within me that influenced my choice to marry or have a relationship with whom unhappiness is inevitable?”
Remember you make that choice, and you alone are responsible for choosing a compatible partner, so choose wisely. In order to choose wisely you need to be mentally, emotionally and even physically healthy.