Good Ex-etiquette can help Communication

Good ex-etiquette is absolutely essential in learning to communicate with those that are in the context of a break up or a remarriage. There are situations that will come up that will be difficult to deal with, so it will be helpful to apply some good etiquette to help you get through those times.

Ex-etiquette includes the rules of basic etiquette that implies that you will show politeness, kindness, consideration, unselfishness and to be gracious to those around you, particularly to those individuals that will still be part of your life even after a divorce.

That includes all members of your extended family, your blended family, those of your ex-spouse, anyone else who is affiliated with them. That is, anyone that will remain in social realm after a breakup or divorce.

Using good etiquette will help you interact better with people who have shared some painful experiences. It will allow you to remain cordial and help you make clear and logical decisions that involve your children and even when planning a remarriage or a second wedding in the future.

It is not going to necessarily resolve your problems with those individuals, but it will help you work through your own issues and emotions. It will help you to tolerate and deal with your ex-spouse, or almost anyone you encounter that is difficult.

Ex-Etiquette with Children

Some may think that you don't have to speak to your ex spouse after the divorce, well if you have children together that is definitely not going to be the case. If you have children you will have times that you will need to interact together, and can use some good ex-etiquette.

In today's society parents now have joint or physical custody, where the children go back and forth between parents home regularly so communication is necessary, whether you like it or not. If divorce parents are co-parenting them, they can not easily walk away from each other after a divorce. It is very important for the benefit of the children that you learn to get along or at least be civil to each other for the emotional well being of them.

For the most part you will always share children, grand children, and even great grand children, that is, if you are blessed. Maybe that is the way people should start thinking and looking at their blended families as a blessing and an extension of love. I think that is a more positive approach to life and peace of mind.

Do not think that when the children grow up that all the misunderstandings ends there. Just because your child turns 18 years old, that doesn't mean that you will not have to deal with there step-parent, step siblings etc... Keep in mind that when that child marries it will be a wedding that both parents and extended families will attend.

Try to also remember that those children are usually filled with anxiety and worried of the possibility of their parents arguing, and having to be put right in the middle again. This causes so much stress, and is very emotionally draining. Parents need to take the affects they have on their children, heavily into consideration.

Also, when your child turns 18, it doesn't end your relationship with your "ex" life. Life does go on. Understanding this will help you to understand the importance of learning better communication, and that is where ex-etiquette come in.

10 Ex-etiquette Rules

  1. Never, ever bad mouth anyone that is part of the extended family or blended family from either side. Especially your ex-spouse.
  2. Listen carefully to what the other person is trying to say, try not to mis-interpret there intentions.
  3. Be honest, respectful and direct but not rude.
  4. Don't hold grudges, jealous or spiteful.
  5. Give advice only when asked, and even then be careful and tactful.
  6. Ask for help when needed, put that pride aside.
  7. Be empathic, put yourself in the other person's shoe.
  8. Compromise when possible and work together.
  9. Always be respectful of family traditions, history and allegiances.
  10. Find solutions outside the box.

It will be difficult at first to apply these helpful rules, especially when you really do not get along with others for whatever reason, but within time, as you heal (and you will) it will get easier. You will begin to put things into perspective and realize that your children are more important and that life is really just to short to sweat the small stuff.

Remember to count your blessing and know that you life is not so bad after all. There are a lot of good things in it, focus on those and don't let the other person ruin your day with their negativity keep in moving and keep it positive. It can be done through a positive mind set and prayer can also be the answer.

Eventually these ex etiquette rules can help guide parents to becoming better co-parents, step-parents, and just down right civil individuals with each other especially after a divorce.

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